


私...

by xiubeans



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 00:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7384519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiubeans/pseuds/xiubeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been friends for a while now. Luhan has openly admitted that he likes Minseok and practically flirts with him everytime Minseok is around, but sometimes he has difficulty expressing his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	私...

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a xiuhan Christmas fic I wrote last year with a side of baekchen for good measure  
> The meaning of the title is basically "I" in Japanese. I'm not very creative with titles o3o

Luhan's breath comes out in thick puffs of white clouds. His heart is leaping out of his chest. His lungs are burning with the lack of oxygen while his legs are becoming jelly-like from all the running. The cold winter air hits his hot body and cools him down. He can't rest yet. He has less then two yards left to go.

He halts in his tracks when he sees somebody running towards him. The figure is a man, wearing the typical running clothes one wears when on a morning jog. His black hair is tied up in a small ponytail. Luhan can see the beads of sweat on his forehead as he inhales large mouthfuls of cold air. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as his heart beats faster, this time from love. God, he is such a love sick idiot.

"Minseok!" he calls and waves an arm in the air to catch his crush's attention. The man catches his voice and waves back as he jogs up to him.

"Good morning," Minseok greets breathlessly. "How are you?"

"Tired as hell, but I feel better now that you're here," Luhan replies. Minseok chuckles.

"You're always flirting with me," the Korean man states with an amused grin. "It's actually kind of endearing."

Luhan shrugs. "You know that I'm interested in you, so it's pointless to hide my feelings. Speaking of which, are you free later today? I'd like to take you out on another coffee date."

Minseok pretends to check the time by looking at the position of the sun, which is hidden by thick clouds. He frowns, though it was more from the fact that it might rain in an hour or two and he was still in the middle of a morning jog. "I don't know, Luhan. I have work in a few hours."

Luhan snorts and shakes his head. "Today's your off day, jerk. I know your schedule by heart. Besides, there's never been a time you've turned me down."

"Alright," Minseok laughs. "Fine. Coffee date at one, then?"

"Like always," Luhan says with a goofy grin. "I'll see you later. Have a good run, baby." He winks and blows Minseok a kiss before jogging past him. Minseok watches his dark brown hair fly in the wind and smiles to himself. He likes Luhan. He's a nice guy and they've got plenty of things in common.

With a happy smile, Minseok jogs down the path and anticipates their date.

 

Luhan pushes the door of his favorite coffee shop open and finds Minseok sitting at a table for two near a large window that looked down on the streets below. He makes his way over and flashes the Korean man a smile. "Hey Minseok," Luhan greets and slips into the comfy cushioned chair.

"Good afternoon, Luhan." Minseok returns the smile with a small grin. "So how's soccer practice been? I haven't seen those rascals since summer. I miss them!"

"The kids are getting better," the Chinese man says. "We had a miniature game against one another last week and it went on for so long because they kept blocking and taking the ball from each other. I had to call them back before they all passed out from exhaustion."

Minseok chuckles. "That sounds like you and the kids had a blast. I wish I could find the time to play soccer with you and the kids again, but business school takes a lot of work if I'm going to open up my own coffee shop. Plus, Jongdae is having problems with Baekhyun and I have to make sure they're not going to kill each other. Those two are always bickering about something. Yesterday they were arguing about Santa or something." Minseok rolls his eyes. "They're idiots."

"I bet they like each other," Luhan says with a matter-of-fact nod. "I've seen those types of people. They aruge and whine about each other and they end up dating. I'm glad we have stuff in common." Minseok hums in agreement. He is glad that they have common interests and ideas. He's never liked arguing in the first place. It hurts his head and twists his mind around so much that he ends up more confused than angry.

Their afternoon passes by with friendly conversation and the occsaional flirty joke or two. The scent of coffee brings them both back to their first date, which was at the same coffee shop they were sitting at right now at the exact same time.

"It's almost been a year, hasn't it?" Minseok asks. He props his chin on his hand and stares out the window. "Remember the first time we met? I was sitting here and wondering if I'd ever find somebody that would be a perfect match for me and feeling sorry for myself—"

"And then I came along and flirted with you," Luhan interjects. Instead of giving the Chinese man an annoyed glare, Minseok smiles and nods.

"Maybe...no, I don't think it was chance or luck," Minseok murmurs. Luhan can barely catch his next words, but he manages to hear the whispers and his heart jumps for joy. "I think it was our fate to meet."

"Minseok," he starts. The man looked up from his trance-like state and peers at Luhan with deep hazel eyes that pierce through him. "I won't lie. I've been thinking a lot about us." Luhan's heart is racing. He curls his hands into fists and notices his sweaty palms. "We've been going on casual dates a lot and it feels more like friends hanging out. But I...you know," he finishes lamely. He sits back in his seat and crosses his arms. He can't bring himself to say it. No matter how many times he's tried to say it to Minseok, it never comes out. When he rehearses in front of the bathroom mirror it was so much more easier. The reassuring smile he gave himself always pushed him along as he gave a small speech about his feelings, but the quiet stare Minseok always gave him as he spoke cause his voice to waver and hesitate.

"I've noticed that when you're trying to say something you always trail off with 'I.' Is there something stopping you from finishing your thoughts?" Minseok leaned forwards and cocked his head to the side. Luhan shook his head dismissively.

"I'll spare you the awkwardness. Anyways, I better get home. I promised Yixing I would help him with his Secret Santa,' Luhan says. Minseok takes the excuse without anymore questions and bids his friend goodbye.

When Luhan left the coffee shop, Minseok leans into the cushioned chair and let out a long sigh. He needs to stop getting his hopes up.

 

"Did you confess to him yet?" Yixing asks. He and Luhan were sitting on the wooden floor of Yixing's apartment and attempting to wrap up a book about space and a stuffed alpaca.

"No," Luhan admits with a heavy heart. "I don't know. I always practice at home, but when I'm trying to confess my mouth just stops working and I end up looking like a fool." He leans back and looks at the book he was attempting to wrap. It was uneven where multiple layers of wrapping paper was and the corners were sharp and uneven.

"Maybe you don't need to confess. You make it very clear that you like him and you're always going on dates. He knows you like him." Yixing temprarily stops wrapping up gifts to look at his friend.

Luhan sighs and shrugs. "I want to get past the friends part and offically start dating him, but at the same time I'm afraid that he won't return the feelings. What if he's just been playing along the entire time? Or what if he just doesn't want to date me and he's just being nice so that he won't hurt my feelings?"

Yixing shakes his head. "Minseok isn't like that. Trust me when I say that he feels the same way towards you."

"How can you say that when you've only talked to him once?" Luhan cries. Before Yixing could reply, the other lays down on the floor and curled up in a tight ball. Yixing lets out a frustrated sigh. Fine, if Luhan won't believe him then he'll just have to sit back and hope that either one will confess soon. Why does Luhan have to be so damn skeptical sometimes?

"Come on, let's get these gifts wrapped up. The party is next week and I still can't figure out how to wrap this plushie." Yixing reached over to lightly slap Luhan on the thigh.

"Just put it in a box," was the curt reply. Luhan never makes a move to sit up. He merely lays there and feels sorry for himself. Yixing shakes his head and sighs again.

*

Five days before the Christmas party, Luhan insists that he and Minseok go to the nearby park. It was late noon yet it felt like it was early morning with how cold it was.

"It's freezing," Minseok says as he and Luhan trudged through the snowy park. "Why did you drag me all the way here? There's nothing to do."

"Just take a look around you!" Luhan hooks his arm around Minseok's and sweeps his arm out to gesture at the white world. "There's so much snow. Do you know what we can do with it?"

"I could make more then enough snow cones to last me all summer," Minseok jokes. He shouts when Luhan dumps a handful of snow on his head.

"No, idiot! It means we can build the biggest snowman Seoul has seen!" Luhan unwrapped his arm from the other and fell to his knees. He begins to pack snow into a snowball and looks over his shoulder, silently asking for help. Minseok shakes his head to get rid of the snow before bending down to help out.

While Minseok makes another snowball, Luhan begins to roll the snowball in the snow. It gradually becomes bigger and bigger until Luhan was puffing with effort to roll it. Minseok temporarily puts down his own to help out the other.

"I think this is big enough," Minseok huffs when the snowball was as tall as a three-year-old. "We should start on the other one." Luhan nods. He was starting to feel hot from all that effort in snowball rolling.

Within an hour, they had finished their snowman's body. They gathered small pebbles and sticks to use as decorations. Minseok carefully gives the snowman a bright stone smile and dull eyes while Luhan puts thin, wispy sticks into the sides. When they stand back, their completed snowman was the size of a really tall man, probably about six-foot-something.

"I can't believe we made this," Minseok says with a tired laugh. "It took forever just to get the head on! I had to stand on the tips of my toes to haul that oversized head up."

"But we're done," Luhan replies with pride. "Here, let's put our names on the snow so that everybody will know who made it." Luhan hands Minseok a spare stick and points to a spot next to the snowman where the snow was flat and clear like a blank slate. Once they had drawn their names into the snow, they took a step back to examine their work.

"He has a nice smile," Luhan says. Taking it as a friendly insult, Minseok chuckles and lightly punches his arm. "I mean it! His crooked smile is cute."

"You didn't do too bad with the arms either," Minseok replies. "I think they could be bigger, though. Hey!" Luhan runs away from Minseok as the latter shakes his hair and snow flutters to the ground. The Korean man kneels down and begins to form a snowball. Luhan beats the other though and throws a snowball at the other before he can aim.

Laughing, Minseok catches sight of brown against white and aims for Luhan's head. It flurry of white flies past the Chinese man. He takes cover behind the snowman and starts making another snowball.

"Surprise!" Luhan yelps when Minseok smashes his snowball on top of Luhan's head. In his haste to get the Korean man back, Luhan scrambles to his feet and accidentally bumps into the snowman. One chunk from the middle falls off, then the head crumbles and takes the body with it. The two stop what they were doing and stare at the the base. Luhan casts the other an apologetic stare, which was returned with a nod of forgiveness. It was fine. Snowmen don't last long anyways. Sooner or later some kids would knock it down.

"I think you should rebuild him yourself. I'm tired," Minseok jokes to lighten the mood. A small grin breaks out on Luhan's lips. Before Minseok can react, Luhan has charged at him and tackled him to the ground. The snow and thick layers of clothing protects Minseok from much of the fall, and he's giggling when Luhan attempts to mush some snow into his face.

The Chinese man straddles the other. "If you don't help me I'll make you eat it!" Luhan waves a large handful of snow in front of Minseok. The latter giggles even more.

"Make me!" He wrestles around with Luhan for a bit and manages to knock the snow out of his hand. Instead of picking up more, Luhan grabs Minseok's hands and pins them above his head. Everything around them seems to pause with bated breath as Luhan wavers above the other.

"If you don't help me," Luhan mumbles and swallows, "I'll kiss you!"

"Then go ahead. Kiss me," the other says. It sounded more like a challenge than anything; a challenge that Luhan won't back away from because he really wants to feel Minseok's lips.

Hesitantly, he closes the distance until he feels the other's breath on his own lips. He shuts his eyes, wills the anxiety away, and presses his lips against Minseok's in a closed-mouth kiss. He pulls back before he could push himself on and sat back to look at Minseok. The tiniest of smiles plays on the other's lips, but it was there.

"Your lips are so cold," Luhan points out to avoid awkward pauses. Minseok chuckles.

"I know. I wouldn't mind pressing my lips against yours for a little while longer. Yours are warm." The comment makes Luhan blush like a madman. Pretending that it's the cold that's bothering him, he pulls his scarf over his reddening cheeks and gets off of Minseok.

"Let's go to Yixing's place. We're still struggling with wrapping stuff for his Secret Santa." Luhan helps the other onto his feet and brushes the snow from Minseok's shoulders.

"Still?" The Korean man shakes his head. "You two are the worst at gift-wrapping." Luhan laughs as Minseok takes his gloved hand and guides him out of the park. The Chinese man is glad that the other doesn't say anything else about the kiss and the subject passes over their heads without anymore mention of it.

On their way to Yixing's, it dawns on Luhan that it was his first time kissing Minseok while completely sober. The few kisses they've shared while drunk is sloppy and tastes of alcohol, but this kiss...though Minseok's lips were cold, they were soft and weren't as chapped as they were several weeks ago. He could faintly taste the strawberry chapstick when he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. He wouldn't mind kissing Minseok again.

*

On the day of the Christmas party it snows as if the heavens wasn't holding back. The party was held at Minseok's friend's house by a man named Wufan. Luhan had to take a bus since his house was in Hongdae. When he arrived, Minseok was already there along with Yixing.

"Luhan!" Yixing threw himself onto the older man. "Are you alright? Did all the snow give you a cold?" Yixing pressed a hand against his forehead.

"I'm fine," Luhan reassures the other with a smile. "The bus ride was just a little bit long, that's all. I almost left my gifts on the bus though." Luhan jiggles the bag of presents in his hand.

Yixing breaths a sigh of relief. "Great. I'm glad you're fine. The party is starting soon, so you better come inside and drop off the gifts on the present table." Yixing points to a table covered in gifts of all sizes and colors before walking away to break apart an argument between Baekhyun and Jongdae. He doesn't notice the other at first, but a warm hand takes his wrist and grabs his attention.

"Oh, Minseok." Luhan gives the other a large smile. It was returned with a smile just as big and bright. "Are you cold? We can grab some hot chocolate and cuddle on the couch."

"I should be the one asking you that," Minseok says with a chuckle. "But I can't turn down such a nice suggestion, so sure."

Luhan grins. He blows Minseok a quick kiss and drops off the gifts at the present table. He weaves through people to get to the kitchen, where white coffee cups filled with hot chocolate were lined up. Luhan grabs two cups and makes his way back carefully. He finds Minseok seated on the couch with a fluffy dark blue blanket pulled over his legs. Their eyes meet and the Korean man gestures for him.

"So who's your Secret Santa?" Minseok asks when Luhan handed him a cup of hot chocolate and settled down with him.

"Yixing of all people," Luhan replies. "I was hoping to get you, since I know exactly what to get. It took a while to find something fitting for him."

"I thought that it would be easy to find a gift for him since he doesn't really care," Minseok says. Luhan shook his head. Quite the opposite, to be frank. He had to find a gift that Yixing wouldn't lose easily, and if he was going to get something that came with instructions it had to be something simple enough that even Baekhyun's grandmother could understand.

"What about you?" Luhan asks after a sip of hot chocolate. "Did you get me for your Secret Santa?"

Minseok scoffs. "Of course not. If I did, then I wouldn't bring up the subject."

Luhan nods. He makes a good point. "Then who did you get?"

"Him." Minseok points to a man with bright bubblegum pink hair in the crowd. It wasn't hard to find him. "I got Baekhyun," Minseok says and settles into the couch. "It wasn't too hard to find a present for him." Luhan watches the pink-haired man for a moment before giving Minseok all of his attention.

Tonight, he will finally tell Minseok that he wants to start officially dating.

 

"Alright, everybody!" Jongdae screams over the music. He turns off the music, much to everybody's dismay. Minseok and Luhan were in the middle a duet when they were stopped.

"Everybody!" Jongdae shouts. This time he successfully gets the partygoers' attentions. "It's time for the Secret Santa! Baekhyun and I will start distributing the gifts, so make sure you pay attention for your name! If we call somebody and nobody comes to get it, we'll give it to a random person." The crowd laughs.

"Make sure you listen for your name," Minseok jokes as he pokes Luhan in the chest. They both laugh for a few seconds before falling silent with the rest of the partygoers to listen to their names.

"Okay, first person!" Baekhyun says. He picked up a nicely wrapped present and checked for a name written on it. "Kim Kibum! Oh, I know you. You're part of theater club." Everybody laughs at the small comment. Baekhyun grins from the attention he's getting and hands the gift to a blond guy wearing a cashmere sweater that's probably from Gucci or something.

It doesn't take too long for Minseok and Luhan to finally get their gifts. Luhan's Secret Santa came from a female friend named Sunny, who gave him a new soccer ball and a Korean dictionary along with a personal letter. Minseok's Secret Santa was from the owner of the house, Wufan. The man had gotten him a coffee maker, which was quite the impressive gift.

"Now I can finally make my own lattes," Minseok says with a beaming smile.

"You'll have to make me one when I come over," Luhan replies as he laid his gift next to his feet.

"Of course. I'll even make you a special one, just for you." Minseok smiles at Luhan and his heart leaps inside his chest. He silently tells his heart to stay still.

 

It's just an hour before midnight when Luhan decided that he had to act. He has to confess to Minseok now. He's been waiting for nearly a year for this moment. He'll just pull Minseok to the side, take his hand, and spill the words that he's been meaning to say from day one.

But what if Minseok won't return his feelings?

Luhan tells himself that he's an idiot for even thinking about it. Minseok will accept his confession. They've been friends for quite a few years now, and Luhan has always been open about his feelings. But what if Minseok only accepts because he feels bad for him?

"Hey, you!" Luhan is abruptly shaken from his thoughts when Jongdae shouts in his ear. "You're Luhan, right?" Before he can reply, Jongdae shrugs and grabs him by the arm. "Whatever. Even if you're not, Minseok won't care who he'll kiss."

"W-wait, what?" Luhan stammers. Jongdae drags him none too gently over to the entrace of a hallway. Attached to the top of the cream doorframe is a sprig of mistletoe, and directly under it is Minseok.

"Alright, get comfy, boys!" Jongdae shoves Luhan into Minseok, who manages to grab his waist and steady him before Luhan could fall down. The two are squished into the somewhat narrow entrance so that their chests were touching and they had grip onto the other's shoulders or forearms. Luhan's head is swimming with confusion yet he's able to register the mistletoe hanging above him and Minseok. He has to kiss him. If he chickens out then the small crowd that has gathered to watch couples kiss under the mistletoe will make fun of him.

"Get ready!" Jongdae says and hopped behind a tripod with a camera perched atop it. Minseok's grip on his forearms tightened and he pursed his lips, signaling that he was ready. But Luhan isn't. He's not mentally nor physically prepared for this.

Just kiss him and get it over with, Luhan tells himself. Just kiss him. Everything will be fine after the kiss. You'll still be friends.

"Say kimchi!" Jongdae says with a gleeful smile. Before Luhan can act, Minseok has already pressed his lips against Luhan's. They're surprisingly soft. Then Minseok opens his mouth and manages to coax Luhan's own mouth open before slipping his tongue inside. The Chinese man stands there, stunned in surprise as Minseok tastes him.

"Alright, you two! Go get a room." Jongdae laughs and throws a candy cane at the two. When they parted Luhan realized that the small crowd had grown a bit bigger, with people standing in line or just watching. Among them was Yixing. He catches the smile that Yixing directs at him and feels courage well up in his body.

"Hey, Minseok." Luhan takes the Korean man's hand and looks him directly in the eyes. He does his best to focus on Minseok only, the person he likes more than soccer and coffee combined. "We've been friends for a few years now and I know that I've always openly flirted with you. You clearly know that I like you as more than a friend," Luhan says. The words seem to flow well and easily fall from his lips as if he was just having a casual conversation. "So, if it's alright with you, will you be my boyfriend and officially start dating me?" The few seconds that pass feels like years, but when Minseok smiles and nods the heavy weight on Luhan's shoulders fall and he grins. He presses his lips against Minseok's once more as the crowd cheer and clap for the new couple.

"See, I knew that Luhan would confess sooner or later," Jongdae tells Baekhyun. "He just needed a bit of encouraging, that's all!"

"What about you?" Baekhyun asks. He crosses his arms and looks at the other expectantly. "When will you confess your feelings?"

Jongdae scoffs. "Never, you jerk. I'd never date a person who prefers cookies over cake."

"Kim Jongdae!" Baekhyun growls. "That's just my own preference, you jackass!" Before Baekhyun can realize what he's doing, he grabs Jongdae by the collar of his shirt and pulls him in for a rough kiss.


End file.
